Around 2 years ago i watched a movie “Ella Enchanted”, in which the protagonist Ella was given the boon of obedience by her fairy godmother. This boon eventually turns into a curse when she had to do things because of the boon when she doesn’t even want to and some evil people starts taking advantage of this boon of hers.
Why this story? I will tell you in a while, but first let me tell you another one.
I am the firstborn of my parents. When I was born, my parents decided to raise a perfect human out of me, a generous, obedient, caring, loving, respecting and truthful one. Like every other parent tries after all these are the qualities of a hero. Having these qualities was very much appreciated by the people. My parents used to feel proud being able to accomplish their desire. People around me were very appreciative of me.
As soon as I got out of the protective shell of my parents, the boon of best behaviour given by them turned into a curse. People used to ask me for favours and I would stupidly do them even at the cost of losing my time or abandoning my already prepared plans. People would lie to my face and I couldn’t even tell them that I know they are lying. People would borrow stuff from me to never return and I couldn’t even ask back my things. Even I wouldn’t be able to present the good work I have done on my project to my Boss. I know it is not just me; I know a lot of my friends who happened to be in the same spot. Why do we do this? Is it the right thing to do? Because we like to be like this or because we are raised to be like this?
It took a lot of bummers and prolonged introspection to come out of the people pleasing zone I was in and boy I felt so light and happy from the day I decided to live for myself not for others. Now when I became a mother myself, I am in a horrible dilemma. What shall I teach my son? To be like what I was raised or to be what I became? Can you help?