The chronicles of Lizerdania

I guess with the title, you may have guessed what i am going to talk about in this post.

Let me start with – Herpetophobia, the condition that many of us suffer these days including me. Herpetophobia, a fear of Lizards and snakes. Why snakes i wonder, they barely exist. But lizards, the fear of them is global from where i see and damn; by the speed they are growing in numbers i think one day they will be able to outcast us humans.

The tales of lizardania

Anyways my fear of lizards is not by birth. Just like my son i used to love the sight of a crawling object on the walls and a fight of two of them would make me feel like romans in those tv shows who roared on a deadly strike.

So how did it happen, i guess i was around 10 or 12 and was watching a fight of two lizards just on the roof above my head while tucked up in my bed. yeah, imagine that, but i had so much belief in them for not falling down. My faith was broken when one of them fell just on my neck. My mom did this thing of sprinkling of some gold touched water. But that couldn’t wash away the fear that fall instilled into me and since then there have been several adventurous incidents.

That changed me so, that i could watch two men killing each other but a visual of two lizard holding each other’s mouth was sending chills to my spine. and every encounter since then has been scary, memorable and worth sharing.

Putting a whole hand on to a lizard while climbing up on the backyard tree, crushing one in between the bathroom door accidently, waking up mom in the middle of the night to check if there is any lizard in the bathroom, were a few from the countless ones i had while living at my parent’s. The only relief was the time when we had cats for pet, they used to hunt down the lizards and thus the lizards were alway hidden.


When i moved out to west side of the country for job, the issue resolved for good. The buildings were closed and high for lizards, the offices were anyway clean and packed. So it was certainly a relieving few years of life.

And then i decided to move back to the city again to my in-laws. As if the dreaded creatures were waiting for the opportunity. I didn’t know like men, lizards also improve themselves. Now not only the walls and roofs they extended their reach to the floors as well and curtains and under the gas stove oh my god i stopped putting a foot in my own home without a slipper. Big ones, small ones, black ones, white ones all over the place. My fear made my husband to literally ask the servants to kill the lizards wherever and whenever be seen. But we used to live in a green space so there was no stopping of the new ones.

Well, That’s when i decided to fight back.
and the first thing that i did was to
draw a boundary between the habitats.
Like a few areas that needs to be private for each of us – like i would not budge about roofs and store rooms or outdoors. and likewise she should be off limits to the floors, bathrooms, beds, cupboards and kitchen, or otherwise there will be consequences.
Clearly, the only person living by the word was me and that’s when with no option to be left i decided to fight back.

How?? Google…..
Yes, i googled ” how to get rid of lizards” and missed no link.
Here are some of the things that i tried to get rid of them –

  • put an empty egg shell. ( no use)
  • make a concoction of garlic water + coffee + black pepper and spray it around the areas where lizard comes. ( the whole house started to stink)
  • Put a peacock feather. ( Found one hiding behind it.)
  • Put a cockroach spray and it will die. ( i once put on one in my bathroom, she went blind and jumped over me, i screamed so hard that my 95 year old dadi in law ran to save my life).
  • I came across a pack of tiny squares in a grocery store labelled as “Lizard repellent”. ( of no use)

And google is out of ideas now. So now we have set one sided new rules-

  • The areas that can be kept closed, should be. ( like we keep our kitchen closed all the time except when we use it, so far so good)
  • Don’t be troubled or trouble them as much as possible. (like if she can hide behind the gyeser in the bathroom when i enter, we are all good)
  • And lastly kill, if you have the heart. ( thankfully that she doesn’t understands it but yes, as of now the mighty slayer is only the husband and have killed a good 5-6 of them)

But thankfully we are in peace with our current living arrangements and i am so excited to see when my little one will stop being so amazed with a lizard falling down and trying to touch them like it’s a butterfly.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla and sponsored by Queen’s Brigade.

21 thoughts on “The chronicles of Lizerdania

  • July 8, 2021 at 7:53 am
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    I know many have this fear. My brother does. He brought a spray from Dubai that worked. The rest like eggshells, peacock feathers or those squares just don’t work. I was actually smiling while reading your post.

    Reply
  • July 8, 2021 at 8:09 am
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    If there was an award for best blogpost in Blogaberry, this one would win! I simply loved the way you narrated your experience with lizards. Laughed so many times. Brilliant writing! I could actually visualise the scenes right before my eyes!
    I read out your blogpost to my kids and husband; it filled our dull day with smiles! Thank you for writing this one! Keep writing!!

    Reply
  • July 8, 2021 at 6:24 pm
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    Reading this bought me a lot of relief 😌 I’m so scared of them that I can’t imagine killing them, I would if I could, I really hate them

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    • July 11, 2021 at 10:50 am
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      I just couldn’t stop laughing. Your narrative is very funny but can understand your scare at that point of time. Best post so far.

      Reply
  • July 9, 2021 at 6:33 am
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    My sister has this lizard fear and every time she visits me, she makes sure to carry insect prevent spray. But again, she hates to kill them only wants to vanish them from the house. I really liked the way you depicted this. Thanks.

    Reply
  • July 9, 2021 at 7:14 am
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    My SIL fears lizards, too. She won’t go unaccompanied anywhere because she’s afraid a lizard might drop down on her. We take these fears lightly or worse, laugh at the person, but it is a very real danger in the mind of the person. Although your account is written humorously, I could understand the frustration and pain underneath.

    And no, my SIL has not yet found a foolproof method to drive them away from the house.

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    • July 9, 2021 at 3:27 pm
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      I have this fear, though I didn’t know the name of this phobia. Anyway, I completely agree with you that they’ll really be able to outcast us. Your narration is simply amazing dear. I was laughing while reading the post.

      Reply
      • July 11, 2021 at 10:42 am
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        Fear of lizard exists and I always ask my helpers to get rid of it for me
        They know the fear I have and if I find one in my bathroom I even avoid shower unless I get my helpers get rid of it
        I loved ur blog literary and it is quite humourous too. You have written it very well.

        Reply
  • July 9, 2021 at 6:12 pm
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    Oh my god, I could not even dare to look at your blog image, it gives me jitters. I am with you in this. I never had the courage to shoo away a lizard and I have passed on the same fear to my daughter. We both jump on the bed and sofa when we see one. And yes, Google has completely failed to give one sane solution, nothing works with them and I have also observed one thing, I feel they understand who fears them and they behave more adamantly…I could imagine your whole scenario and could perfectly relate to it 🙂

    Reply
  • July 10, 2021 at 7:09 am
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    My husband had the same experience with lizard when he was young. It fell on him and crept over his body. He also has developed dear since then and it somehow creeps him if it’s in the same room. I’ve tried some remedies too but they hardly work I think. Will try the ones you have mentioned.

    Reply
  • July 10, 2021 at 4:56 pm
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    I was curious about these chronicles and got to read a humourous post. But black lizards??? Yuck do they really exist?? I think I’m more afraid of cockroaches as a lizard hasn’t yet had the guts to fall on me yet. But cockroaches yeah. I mean I’ve encountered flying cockroaches and this post totally reminded me of my katsaridaphobia. (Thanks to you, I just googled to see if there was a term for cockroache phobia).

    Reply
  • July 10, 2021 at 8:59 pm
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    Lol! Sorry to laugh at your plight but your post is so funny. But I completely feel you. Though Iam ok with lizards, Iam very scared of cockroaches. In fact, it is only in the last few years that I have been able to even point a spray at them. Once I remember I had called my husband back from a meeting to kill a cockroach that was in the kitchen 🙂
    Strangely, iam not so scared of other bugs….wonder why this specific fear.

    Reply
  • July 11, 2021 at 9:29 am
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    This is such a sweet post. I know many people who are scared of lizards and who in turn have scared me. 😀 Jumping on sofas and beds and bringing the house down. I am not scared of creepy crawlies that I can stamp under my foot. But scared of dogs.

    Reply
  • July 11, 2021 at 9:40 am
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    Man, did I have some real chills reading this post! My fear of lizards started when me and my cousins actually tried to kill one using our cricket bat.
    We successfully removed it’s tail but never knew that tail can move independently without a lizard.
    I still get that icky feeling when I see one!

    Reply
  • July 11, 2021 at 10:02 am
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    Thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. When we were kids, my brother ensured that I was not scared of lizards and bugs. I am a dog magnet though. I have lost count of the number of times I have been bitten by them.

    Reply
  • July 11, 2021 at 3:00 pm
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    I just laughed while reading your post. Simple, funny yet impressive. I do not like lizards at all. Fortunately, In my house, there are no such creatures. Loved your post.

    Reply
  • July 11, 2021 at 4:08 pm
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    I empathise with the lizard fear. It was hilarious about reading your adventures and I could practically hear your scream and your dadi in law running to help you. But also understood that Google is of no use in helping in such a situation.

    Reply
  • July 16, 2021 at 7:04 pm
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    Hahaha that was hilarious! Truth be told, I used to be as scared as you and they still give me the heebie-jeebies, but in my marital home they have turned out to be a blessing because they kill the crazy amounts of mosquitos we get!!! I’ve learnt to politely ignore them and they do the same!

    Reply

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