NICU Awareness Month – MyStory Part two #MyFriendAlexa

This is the part two of the two posts I have written about our struggles in NICU. Read part one before going ahead.


I was not allowed to feed him but anyway I went on to watch him to the NICU, curtains were closed but they could not hide the sounds of a crying baby which I so wished shall not of mine. Trying to synchronize my view with the flickering of curtain by the air I saw there was only one baby who was crying and that was my son. I rarely cried ever in my whole life and never in public. That day I cried in public all the way from NICU to my private ward, in the blurred vision tears created I saw people gazing at me, pitying me. The day went by crying; trying to figure out what went wrong and speculating about the stool test results.


It felt like the time was at its slowest best, it took the whole day for the clock to strike 11:00 AM. We were called into the NICU, the doctor informed us about the results. There was occult blood in the stool because of the stomach infection and jaundice was also confirmed. Usually the very rude doctor pitied us judging by our faces and consoled us saying “Don’t worry he would be fine but we have to keep him here for 3 days and maybe you can start feeding him by today night. He is crying because he is hungry” and he instructed the nurse to give him 10 ml of some liquid form of glucose. I saw him licking the drop of that medicine as if he found some nectar. My heart and eyes puddled into some watery substance. My husband asked if we could touch him. I didn’t dare to pick him up from the incubator, just brushed my hand into his hair and silently said you will be back to me very soon.

I and my husband kept visiting the NICU every hour, sometimes together sometimes separately. During the course of the day we also came to know about various other families who also had babies being treated in the NICU. Each one with their own struggle. One of the babies had stomach infection and her stomach got swollen with blood in it, the doctor already informed the family to not keep high hopes but yet they were having the hope and putting all their money at work.

One of the baby was been sent back to home after being cured but she again caught infection and came back for the treatment. The other family was struggling with money and the lady was instructing someone to sell of the gold chain she kept in her locker. Even we made friends with some of them. Amidst all this the only constant was my son wailing for food. Every time we used to wish that hopefully it is some other child but it was only him each time.

At 3:00 AM in the night one of the nurses came to call me in NICU for feeding. We had at least one relief that now he will not had to cry anymore. Me and my husband went to NICU, husband stayed outside and I went it. Nurses instructed me towards the feeding area and after few second brought him to me. He had only a diaper on his body and was crying. I immediately hugged him, cried and started feeding him. It was the best one hour I ever spent.


At 11:00 the doctor informed us about the improvement in his health, he said, “By the end of the day the same tests will be done again. If everything goes fine, the baby will be out from the NICU by the next morning”. We were the happiest. And throughout the day whenever I was called in, just like the sleaziest detective I would try to overhear the nurses talking about the babies like whenever which one is discharged, whose health is improved, what doctor said about which baby; Hoping that they would talk about my baby too. I don’t know what’s with the nursing staff or medical people, they have this thing to hide things, and they can’t help it.

We realized that all the sweets people brought in to congratulate us is been lying in the room itself rotting. No one had the sanity to dispose them off. Many of our relatives and friends called us to visit us; at least they were courteous enough to not disturb us during our struggles. We said no to all.

The very next day at around 3:50, I was called in to feed. I went in and the sight I saw is stuck in my head and would never leave me ever. I don’t know for what reason the nurses were on to bathing the babies at this weird time and my son was lying there in a tray on the table wrapped inside a towel, crying. I immediately picked him up, fed and hugged him for good 5 minutes inside the feeding station. The junior staff were discussing over the babies again. One of the nurses started talking about the baby no.28, which was mine. Her senior immediately susshed her off pointing towards me.

At 11:00 Am, doctors called us and informed about the test results being all ok and instructed the staff to start with the discharge procedure. By 2:00 in the afternoon, as I promised to him, my son was with me again.

It was a test of us; it belonged to us to me and my husband. We broke we struggled, we consoled each other, we stayed with each other, we cared for each other. We skipped eating, we ate together. I remember my husband would sit on the floor infront of NICU because being there was not allowed and I would try my best to cry without making a sound. It was a whirlwind of emotions, no one mattered, and nothing mattered.

But we as a family emerged stronger than ever.

With this post I am taking my blog to the next level with BlogChatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

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